I write this post not sad and forlorn but full of upward and positive energy and momentum. On yesterday morning, completely out of the blue and in no uncertain terms, my life dashed before my eyes and I declared that I was quickly and succinctly dying an acute sudden, painful, and agonizing death, alone on the floor in my place of business.
If the sudden shock, indescribable pain, more pain, sweating, shaking, and crying weren’t enough the feeling that I was leaving with so much left undone led me to dig deep into my soul and pray that I was not going to go down without dignity and self respect. Instantly a calm fell upon my being and I tapped into my years of mindful practice to help me slow down my thoughts, slow down my breathing, and focus on my self and my being.
Unbeknownst to me at the time a
severe unholy ungodly ‘Severe Irritable Bowel” attack was happening. It left me writhing and wrangled in pain so INTENSE that there are literally no words to describe, incontinent, soiled, drenched and dripping in sweat, broken glasses, and a trip to the ED.
Literally the worst pain I’ve ever been through in my adult life
and I deal with lupus, degenerative bone disease and fibromyalgia so I thought I knew pain. The pain (if it can even be classified as such) or brute abdominal attack, flipped a switch in me that had been bubbling under the surface for several months now; and was now fully and finally turned on.
I simply never cease to be amazed at how the universe puts us in the exact place we need to be when we need to be there and leaves it up to us to act, be still, be scared, or worse… DO NOTHNG.
There have been many, many, many signs that have been pointing to the fact that it was not just celiac disease, or wheat, or fibromyalgia, or medication or just the way it is that has been the bane of my internal and gastrointestinal woes. I’ve been saying, asking and stating for years that it was something more but just could never quite put my finger on it. My medical team simply nodded, half listened, and prescribed me yet another medication to add to the already over long list of medications. After years of fighting and demanding, I guess I had unknowingly waved the white flag and commenced with the status quo of “the American health care system”.
Fortunately for me, an EMERGENCY seemingly brink of death happened and I (and them) literally saw the light. They actually LISTENED and then acted accordingly with real medical care and a semblance of treatment. (I’ll save this rant for another post)
Still, I won’t languish in the details this wholly negative experience. What I will do is what I’ve always done. Give you the most important details of my experience in a completely real, honest, and transparent way. This blog has been my place to be completely honest, transparent, and vulnerable without fear of guilt or judgement. I expect this new journey to be more or less the same as my first Journey over four years ago.
I will recount the whys or reasons why I’m here. I’ll occasioanlly use saracam, hyperbole, and metaphor to lighten the mood. I will be honest and sometimes vent that the cards I’m dealt suck and get on my nerves. But I will find a way to make the negative a positive and hopefully, put a smile on your face.
Really in the end, all that matters is that I’m here and ready to embark on yet another food-lifestyle restructure. Just when I thought I knew it all, life has humbled me (again) and reminded me that there’s still so much that I have to learn and so much that modern medicine continues to overlook and ignore. The path to becoming more well starts and stops with what we put mouths and digest.
The path to becoming more well, starts and stops with what we put into our mouths.
I’m a quick learn but the fullness of my life as CEO of a rapidly growing Omnimedia brand means that I need your help now more than ever.
However this time, I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself, wallow in self-pity, or drown in tears of sorrow. This time I’m different and in a place of fullness, resilience, and confidence. There is no other option for me than to hold my head up high and move forward. There’s no time to stop. No time to be still. No time to do nothing.
Now more than ever I am determined to be positive and make the best of the lemons that life has dealt me, stay triumphant, and move forward inch by inch. I needed your support and guidance back then and I need it now. I will do this. We will do this. We will fall down. But we will always get up, make our good better, our better best and never let it rest until we find success.
With Gratitude for Everything,